If anything, the premier has reminded me of how happy I am that the bachelorette is JoJo and not Caila (sorry Caila).
As it turns out, men with gimmicks don’t do it for JoJo – that is, unless your Santa. It looks like the Texas and Army men may find their way into our bachelorette’s heart. And no shocker here, Jordan Rodgers is leaving an impression as well.
Now for a quick recap of the men trying to woo their unicorn (which means a hot and not crazy girl apparently). Feel free to add any additional observations in the comments.
Alex – Even shorter than I expected, but seems sweet. I’ll give him a top 10 nod. Also, this: 
Ali – Also short, the most sweet, and plays a mean piano. Unfortunately I think I see him getting friend zoned :/
Brandon – I feel like the only reason he’s still here is because she can only get rid of so many men per episode.
Chad – I swear I called this before the previews, but wave hello to the male Olivia everybody!
Chase – I feel like the only time we saw this guys face is when he happened to be sitting next to someone else more important. I literally couldn’t remember him so I googled him and came up with this gem Who is Bachelorette Contestant Chase McNary?
Christian – Total friend zone. He has a chihuahua and two cats…
Coley – We all knew he was a first round cut before he walked out of the limo.
Derek – Seems quiet. He will make it a couple episodes for sure, but I’d be surprised if he made it much further…
Daniel – LACE 2.0 (thank you bachelor producers)!
Evan – Is this a slightly more emotionally stable version of Tony (“the healer” from Kaitlyn’s season)?
Grant – His bio was making me think he’d go far, but he didn’t impress me that much in the premiere. Time will tell…
Jake – Oh bachelor producers trying to keep this show diverse. Solid effort. Kind of.
James F. – Didn’t really leave a lasting impression.
James S. – Bachelor super fan/ken doll. What moisturizer does he use? His complexion is flawless. Also I love that he told Chris Harrison he likes it when he pets miniature horses.
James Taylor – I love him already – but will he be manly enough for JoJo?
Jonathan – Again, a sucker before he got out of the limo.
Jordan – Josh Murray 2.0
Luke – So deep and mysterious. He is definitely going to hold JoJo’s attention for a while.
Nick B. – More than anyone else, I literally have no idea who this guy is, which is why I am assuming he is Santa Claus.
Nick S. – Stumbled his way off the show.
Peter – Just didn’t do it for JoJo, sorry Pete.
Robby – I thought he seemed boring but the previews for the season seem to disagree.
Sal – Who?
Vinny – I feel like he will do some more entertaining things for a couple of weeks and inevitably be left rose-less.
Wells – He reminds me the most of Ben – anyone else?
Hopefully this heart break won’t happen again </3
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